Wednesday, January 15, 2014

My Obsticals Of My Middle School Years

 Middle school was one of the most emotional and stressful years of my life.  I know that some people I went to elementary school is going to be in a different middle school from the middle school I was going to at the time. In six grade I was so intimidated that some of the classes I went to, I never really experience students being so rude to the teachers. That make me so uncomfortable because at most of the students at the time are not really not nice. Sixth grade was a pretty decent year for me. I was still in speech therapy and I told my speech therapist  and  my mom to stop because it was interfering with my classes at the time. I also remember having a hard time using the lockers because it was so hard to open so most of the time. Then learning the combination lock was a pain. I have to carry my books with me and it was a struggle going class to class with the books on my hand. People do not open the door for me when my hands or full. When my books drop on the ground most of my classmates just laugh and not help me pick up my books. Also this is the year that I started band. The instrument I was playing was the flute and I enjoyed playing the music and learning the notes and reading some music. My favorite song to play at the time was the Star Wars Theme Song. I really like my band teacher because he is not as mean and he is really helpful with the instruments and stuff like that. I started resource when I was in Fifth grade and that is like a small class that help mostly disabled people with the academics  that we struggle with. So when I hit sixth grade I did not do science and social studies because I ended up in resource and that really make me so mad because I love science and social studies. So I have to do reading math and English and I hated English and reading those are my weakness. Also socially is such a struggle I could not really talk to my peers because one they are really intimidating to me and also some of them don't even talk to me.I was teased for my clothing and fact that I weird when I having a conversation. My classmates will poke at me  fun and say someone likes me and I will fall for it and then they started to giggle. A few times when I sit at a lunch table they will tell me someone is sitting there and I have to find a table to sit at and it was so hard for me to find someone to talk to so at those times that is when I start talking to the teachers.

Seventh grade its not to much things that went going on.I was taking honors classes at the time. and the difference between the honors classes and the regulars classes is that I can take foreign  language and mine was Spanish. I have some really good teachers at the time. I like my Geography teacher. He got me into geography at the time and I use to know the capitals of all the states and his teaching method is really great. I also like my Science class of course I learn a lot from that class. I remember that since I was a honors student, we and the Sail witch is the like the smarter kids we went to Disney for I guess a week and I end up with my mother since she volunteered to go. I glad that she went because being with the other students was very hard since I like different things from them. For example they will complain about Epcot because of the lack of rides and I do like it because it was educational and I learn about the countries and stuff like that.

Eight grade is the most emotional and stressful year for me. One issue I have is that I have a English teacher that always give me a hard time. I mostly end up crying and having melt downs and sometimes she does not  understand that I have bad days. I have a hard time with some of the assignment and is not easy for me so of course I was frustrated and she dos not help me all the time. Also I was feeling so alone at the time classmates don't talk to me as much and I was going though days that I was crying every day.I feel so invisible all the time because of that. My grades start slipping and my self esteem is low. That's when I started having depression. I was thinking of killing myself because I did not get the attention that I needed. I have to go though therapy for my emotions and that did not fully work out to much because my theapist at that time end up talking to my mother. I did not eat lunch in the lunch room because of not fitting in with the other peers but I eat in the class room with my resource teachers and other kids. Few of them confer t me at the time and it was nice.To bad it only lasted for only that year alone. Also this was the year that I have a death of a family member and it was infected me at the time. I also went though a time that I was suspended because of a miss interpretation that I said to a teacher.I was actually kicked out of the classroom because of an argument. I was crying and a teacher come out of the bathroom and she was asking me what was wrong.I said to her I felt like a monster was inside of me and also I felt like killing my teacher. Then I have to go to court for that situation and thank God I did not have nothing bad against me.The teacher that I was talking about did not even felt threatened. I thank God that she and my family stood by me and plead my case.  Also my dad lost his job around that time and it was upsetting. I look back now I glad my dad is home more than on the road..Even though I was going though a lot that that year. I did end up passing my classes and got prepared for high school.

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